


Star

by lusthees



Category: Cravity (Band)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Character Death, Light Angst, M/M, stream byeol xoxo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:47:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23690317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lusthees/pseuds/lusthees
Summary: On a clear summer night, Minhee sits alone on his rooftop and talks to the stars while missing Jungmo and wishing he could turn back time.
Relationships: Kang Minhee/Koo Jungmo
Comments: 1
Kudos: 30





	Star

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this while listening to Star, Stay, and Lights Up so bear with the feels xx

_Among the many stars that are embroidered in the sky, you are my own light._

—

“Well,” Minhee says, looking up at the night sky, “Are you going to say something?”

Silence. 

He laughs at himself. The stars never say anything back. He can spend the whole night wishing and praying, but he’ll only be met with silence. After all, stars can’t talk. 

It’s a clear summer night when Minhee sits cross-legged by himself on his rooftop. The sky is glazed with a rich, dark ink, with not a single cloud to block out the yellow moon. Flecks of white stars dot the night sky like freckles on a face. Faint flashes of red, yellow, and blue flicker throughout the neverending black sky. 

It’s mostly quiet, with only the soft murmur of the city below him to keep Minhee company. Normally, he found the sound of bustling traffic and city life as a nuisance, but tonight, the urban melody made him feel a little less lonely.

The cool breeze begins blowing towards him, so he clutches the flannel he’s wearing over his pajamas closer to his chest. His nose gets a whiff of the familiar scent, and he feels melancholic all over again. 

“It still smells like you,” Minhee says wistfully, glancing up towards the sky once more. “At least your scent still lingers.”

Silence again. Minhee sighs. He knows it’s idiotic of him to wish for a response, but he just wants to hear his voice again.

“This is the first time I’ve sat here since that night,” Minhee murmurs sadly. “It’s weird. It’s really weird, Jungmo. I keep expecting you to show up and sit right next to me, just like you used to, but you can’t. So, the best I can do is sit here by myself and look for you in the sky. I know you’re up there, somewhere.”

His eyes continue to observe the starry sky, fixating on every single star in hopes it could be Jungmo.

“Do you remember the first time we sat up here together?” Minhee asks nostalgically. “I remember it so vividly; it feels like a lucid dream. We were all hanging out at my place, remember? It was 1 AM: Seongmin and Taeyoung had already passed out, Wonjin and Woobin were playing Mario Kart, and Hyeongjun was scolding Allen and Serim because they were too wasted to drive everyone back home. Then there was us.”

“I told you I wanted to escape the party scene for a bit, so we went up to my roof. It’s too late for this, but here’s a confession: I invited you to my roof because I wanted an excuse to be alone with you. At this point, I had liked you for a while. After all, we were best friends. But the idea of us being boyfriends was something I wanted to pursue. I never really knew why; the desire just emerged one day.”

“Maybe it was because I felt so comfortable around you. Maybe it was because you always laughed at my dad jokes, even if it was a forced chuckle. Maybe it was because you didn’t seem to mind me always clinging to your side. Maybe it was because, dare I say it, you were so freaking good-looking. You had the best smile, you know that, right? And whenever you laughed and your eyes crinkled, I just felt myself liking you even more and more.”

“Maybe it was because I could cry to you about anything, and you’d always be there, hugging me tight and running your fingers through my hair while telling me everything would be okay.”

“But I digress. So, we went up to this very rooftop and just sat alone together. You were always an astronomy nerd, so you pointed out all the constellations to me and drew pictures for me in the sky. We just stayed on this rooftop together for about an hour, but it seemed like we were there for infinity. Time just seemed to slow whenever we were together. Maybe that’s another reason I wanted to be with you; life just seemed to slow down whenever we were together, and I could continue to indulge and savor the memories I made with you.”

“It was starting to get late, and we were about to head down. Then, a shooting star appeared. It was a quick flash, and if we blinked, we would’ve missed it, but it was there, and it was otherworldly.”

“I asked if you made a wish. You told me you did, so I asked what you wished for. Before I knew it, your hand was around the nape of my neck and you were pulling me close, and suddenly we were kissing, and suddenly gravity didn’t exist because I felt like I could float among the stars. When we released, you told me you had wished for me.”

“We had the same wish, and somehow that made everything all the more magical.”

“After that, this rooftop became our haven, remember? It was comforting knowing that if I was ever bored or sad or frustrated, I could just climb onto this roof and look at the stars, and you’d be sitting right next to me holding me close while giving me forehead kisses.”

Minhee stops rambling and awaits for a response from the stars. 

Nothing. Nothing but absolute silence and the soft hum of the city below him. 

_Stupid,_ he thinks to himself. 

“All of that changed two months ago,” he says wistfully.

Minhee’s breath hitches as the painful memory stabs his mind. 

“Two months ago. That was the last time we sat on this rooftop together,” he whispers hoarsely, trying to hold back tears. 

He stops talking for a moment and looks down, avoiding the white shimmer of the stars above him. He can’t contain his grief anymore, so he buries his face into the sleeves of Jungmo’s old flannel and bursts into uncontrollable, unstoppable sobbing.

“If I had known what would happen that night, I would have done things differently,” he cries regretfully. “I would have told you to not get in that car. I would have told you to not drive down that street. I would have told you to take the long way home instead. I would have told you to stay a little longer. I would have told you to sit with me for a few more minutes because maybe the stars have something to say, even though we both know stars can’t talk. I would have told you to just keep holding me close and keep showering me with kisses and keep watching the stars with me for all of infinity. Those are the things I would have told you if only I could turn back time.”

“But I can’t turn back time. Instead, I’m just stuck here in the present without you, waiting for a future without you. I’m stuck here, sitting on my rooftop, hoping I’ll see you in the sky tonight. I’m stuck here by myself, wishing that stars could talk and wishing that I could turn back time and wishing I could see you again.”

“Anyway, it’s getting late, so I should head to bed. I love you, you know that, right? Even after everything that’s happened, I still love you. If only I could say that to you in-person. You always got flustered whenever I said those three words, and your embarrassed reaction was so endearing that it just made me want to say it even more.”

Minhee finally finishes crying and prepares to head back to his room. He longingly looks up at the sky one last time to say goodbye, and a quick flash of light catches his eye.

A shooting star. 

Jungmo. 

More streaks of light begin to fall across the sky like brushstrokes of white paint melting into a black canvas. 

Minhee just stands there, wonderstruck, watching the shimmering meteorites shower rain down like galactic glitter. He told himself he wouldn’t cry anymore, but he can’t help himself, and tears continue to stream down his cheeks once again. However, these aren’t tears of grief and sorrow. These are tears of utter awe and marvel. 

_Maybe stars can talk after all,_ Minhee thinks to himself. 

He wipes away his tears and smiles at the sky before heading back down. 

_Maybe I’ll be okay._


End file.
